Sunday, May 29, 2016

Day 29: Tillery’s Dad

One never knows how to go about writing for something like these updates. Alana has done a pretty amazing job with them. She has asked that I write something to help folks understand a dad’s perspective. Kind of hard to do as each person is different and deals with experiences differently. So here is my perspective.

The past 20 months have been a whirlwind of emotions, as you can imagine. It is hard to see one’s child having to endure the things that Tillery has had to face. I am amazed by how well she does in handling all of this stuff. As a dad I feel a need to protect her from the craziness of the world, but how does one do that when the craziness is a brain tumor? I surrendered control that September 30th. There was nothing I could do to protect my little girl. She has a brain tumor. Something foreign is taking up residence in her head.

I made the decision to try to be positive and have a good disposition. I was not going to allow myself to have a pity party. I had/have no idea how all of this stuff is going to turn out. And it is hard. But I will continue to smile and rejoice in all victories, however small or big. I will tell of how I am amazed by Tillery. I will tell anyone who listens, how awesome Luke is. I will forever be thankful that Alana is my partner on this journey. I will never ask, “Why us?”, but instead simply be thankful that we have our faith. I play a small role in all of this. I am in the background simply doing what needs to be done so my family can have as normal a life as possible. I will continue to do so as long as I draw breath. Trust me, this course of action does not make me a hero. Tillery, Luke, and Alana are the heroes. I will not live with fear, but with an eternal hope. It is the hardest thing I will do. But when I see my family smile, hear their laughter, and love one another, I am humbled that I get to share in all of it. I am thankful that I can see the blessings in all of this.

My perspective is that we have grown closer because of Tillery’s brain tumor. We are a happier family. Crazy to read that, isn’t it? But, I believe it is true. We do not get upset about much. I take every day as another opportunity to live and laugh and be amazed by my family. I never know what each day is going to bring. Some days are harder than others. It is never easy to see Tillery and Alana drive away to go to the doctor, or worse Cincinnati, while I stay and maintain the fort here. It has to be done. So I will do it.
As always, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support for us in all of this. You guys have been our rocks through some pretty hard times. We share all of these updates so you too can rejoice with us. Please do so with hearts filled with thanksgiving. God is Awesome, always.

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